Depression and TED Talks

I have lots of problems. Depression is one of them. On the outside I'm a person who's got everything together. I've got above average grades, leadership and extracurriculars, friends, family, and happiness, but on the inside I'm just a shriveled up prune of a soul buried deep in the muck of sadness and stress. Some days it's just unbearable, and I just want to end it all and dissolve into the fabric of time and space. It's not that I want to die, it's just that I don't want to live. Allie Brosh (whom I adore) explains it here and here on her blog "Hyperbole and a Half". Go read it. She's brilliant, and it really explains what its like to have depression. If you don't want to take the time to read all of it, this panel was most striking and describes how I feel most of the time:

I'm also a big fan of TED Talks. I'm sad that there's simply not enough time for me to watch every single TED Talk ever, but I can at least watch some of the more relevant ones and spread them across the internet so more people can see them. I literally pester people on Facebook, saying "THIS VIDEO IS BRILLIANT GO WATCH IT NOWWWWWWW" and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't, but the people that watch it always agree. So I'm telling you right now: THIS VIDEO IS BRILLIANT GO WATCH IT NOWWWWWWW.

I completely agree about the stigma of depression. I realize that I keep telling people that I'm "tired," but what I should really be saying is "I suffer from depression." But I can't. Because people don't want to have to deal with that burden of knowing that someone is depressed, because then you have to be nice to that person and care about their feelings, and isn't it so much easier when you don't have to care about anyone's feelings and just do and say what you want? What this world lacks is empathy, or whatever word it is that means the ability to care about other people's feelings and react appropriately. The ignorance of people is what is preventing people that are suffering from getting the help that they need. And I need help. I don't necessarily need pills and therapists, I just need someone to understand completely and be sad with me. That's really all. And realize that it's ok to be sad. Don't try to push the sadness out by forcing happiness and positivity on them. It doesn't work. Sadness has to melt away on its own. So if you ever meet a person that says, "I'm tired," just give them a hug and say "It's ok. What's wrong? I'm here to listen." If they don't say anything, just listen to their silence. Sometimes all they need is a person to be there, because by giving your time and just being there, you're telling them "Look, you matter. That's why I'm here." It's that simple. You could be saving their life.

tl;dr Well, if you didn't read all of it, too bad. Go back up to the beginning and read and watch all of it, because this stuff matters.

This post has been edited to include proper grammar.