If life is a series of highs and lows, unfortunately, right now is a low. Last week was pushing everything away and putting life on hold to finish the AP Art portfolio. I thought that when the portfolio was finished, I'd be done with everything, but on Monday everything came crashing in all at once. Nine messages on Facebook and seven emails on Gmail, all with urgent emergencies to take care of. Normally, this would be an instant panic attack inducing situation, but I've gotten a lot better at handling those. But that doesn't mean everything's ok. When I'm anticipating a panic attack, I get anxious, because I'm worried about having a panic attack, which gives me anxiety, and it's a self-feeding cycle. But I haven't had a panic attack, and I've taken care of all the work, so that's a good thing. I'm managing it, and if I can continue to take the time to decompress, nothing bad is going to happen. Hopefully that's not just blind optimism that's convincing me everything's ok.
It's the little things that build you up or take you down, and I'm so lucky to have friends that reach out to me and make me smile, intentionally or not (shoutout to Nerdlerff!). And of course, there's always music to help on the way. Lately I've had the "Ooh, la la la," from this song stuck in my head, and I've been listening to it every day. It reminds me of good things in the world, makes me want to curl up with someone in a plush blanket on the beach, sitting in front of a bonfire, just enjoying life,
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