#obsessed: Lush Life – Zara Larsson

It's been a while since I've done a #obsessed music post! The last week or so has been incredibly hectic, as I've been moving back into the dorms, starting classes again, and in general struggling to get this semester up and running. Things have finally settled down again after I set up all my technology and organization strategies. The plan is to take reading notes and lecture notes by hand, but since lecture notes are usually messy, I retype them into Evernote, which syncs across my devices. This is especially helpful because I can start retyping them on my iPad and finish them in my computer, or take the finished notes with me on the iPad. Since my Education 190 class requires a computing device, having the iPad is a godsend, otherwise I'd have to lug my old, heavy Macbook Pro all the way to the opposite corner of the school, uphill, two days a week.

Back to the music, usually I detest Spotify ads, especially the ones with the sound of traffic advertising for Spotify Premium, but sometimes the ads are ok. I mention this even though I can mute the ads on my computer because Spotify comes in three tiers, depending on the device. On the iPhone, the songs are shuffle only, with ads. On the computer, you can select whichever song you like, whenever you like, and I can easily mute ads. On the iPad, song selection is allowed, but it's harder to mute ads, so I usually don't bother. And sometimes this is really good.



My #obsessed song is one of those songs that I heard in an advertisement. It's actually a bit of an old song, released June 2015, but it was never popular in the US. Which is a shame, because it's really catchy. I also love the lyrics, because most breakup songs are about people ending relationships, but this one is about a crush that didn't work out, which I can relate to more. Also, Lush is one of my favorite stores, and this reminds me that I should go buy another face mask.

"It was a crush // Now I might have went and said too much // But that's all it was // So I gave it up" ◊

iPad Mini 4 Unboxing

In the first image of my last post, you may have noticed a white box with a line on it peeking out of the corner. That is no ordinary line; it is in fact the side view of the iPad mini 4! Though I don't do tech spec reviews, I thought it would be nice to do an unboxing, as it is a relatively new item, released Fall 2015. There's not as much in the box as I thought there would be, with the only items being the iPad itself, an adapter, a lightning cable, and a small packet of instructions, with two small white  stickers inside. I've noticed them in every Apple product I've bought, but I still can't figure out what to use them for.

I opted for the silver, WiFi, 128GB version. The silver matches my other devices, and I don't like the idea of using the iPad for phone calls, so there was no reason to choose WiFi+Cellular. However, I wanted to make sure there was plenty of storage, as my 16GB iPhone simply wasn't enough for all the apps and files I wanted. As of now, it seems as though 128GB is a bit excessive, but that might fill up quickly as time goes on. 16GB is definitely too small, so for anyone else considering an iPad, I would say a 64GB device seems like a happy medium. ◊

MDIP - Davis

As today is MLK Day, this first weekend since being back at Berkeley was a three day weekend, so I decided to take the shuttle up to UC Davis to visit a friend and drop off her Christmas gift. I took pictures Snapchat style to spice up a rainy MDIP post. Not pictured are the cows (moving too fast, so I missed it) and the Farmers' Market (got there too late, and we had to go eat). I stayed overnight as her roommate was out of town. UC Davis is a sprawling campus, and the dorms are very nice. I had a lot of fun and it was so great to see WW again. ◊

Out with the Old, In with the New

I am back in Berkeley! It's been a busy two days packing and unpacking and clearing out old stuff from last semester and setting up all the new things, but it's all done now and I get some time to blog again. Classes don't start until Tuesday, but I'm visiting a friend at Davis over the weekend so I won't have time left anyway; the next two posts are going to be scheduled. I'm so glad to have this blog because for some reason I have a need to overshare every single thing that goes on in my life, but I feel like I'm bothering people if I'm constantly chattering about every single mundane thing I've done all day. I don't know who reads this blog, so that aspect is a bit risky. However, the benefits outweigh the costs; I complain less when I put my thoughts into writing.

Over break, I stayed busy coaching speech and debate. That perspective really made me appreciate how incredible the coaches I had were when I was in high school. I was also trying to fix my sleep schedule, but that didn't work out so well. Since my classes don't start until 10am at the earliest, that's not a huge concern time-wise, but more sleep is good health-wise. The main concern last semester was my roommates' lamps on at night, so I bought a blackout curtain. I'm surprised at how well it works, and I plan on buying more to cover my entire bed.

I'm still trying to figure out what classes to take, especially for breadths. I plan on meeting with the advisors of every single department I'm in, from regular L&S to political science to the education minor to the public policy minor, at some point this semester. I want to graduate a semester early so I can do an internship in DC or Sacramento, and then travel once I graduate. This should give me an idea of what the next 6 years of my life should look like. It might seem excessive, but I have to plan, otherwise I'd fall apart from being an anxious mess. Using the anxious energy to organize keeps my life together.

Speaking of spreadsheets and travel, in a flurry of excitement one night (or perhaps one morning?) my friend and I ended up planning an 8 week trip across Europe and Asia. Funnily enough, we both had an interest in a sudden urge to go traveling, with each thinking the other would shoot down the idea, so nothing was said. At midnight, she said it anyway, and until 4:30am we bantered about locations, itinerary, timing, and recorded it all in a my life organizer (I love Google Sheets).


I am ready and so excited for this semester. I bought a few notebooks and gadgets for myself while shopping for Christmas presents, and I am definitely looking forward to using them. My schedule is even better than it was first semester, which is saying a lot. I only have one class on Monday in the afternoon, the rest of my classes start no earlier than 10am and end around 4pm, and I have no class on Fridays again. I would take another class to fulfill a breadth requirement, but I've looked through nearly all of them and they're either a) too advanced, b) already full, or c) overlapping with my current classes. I'm knocking out a PoliSci and two Education prerequisite classes this semester, so I'm not concerned about not fulfilling requirements, but at Berkeley there's always a constant pressure to do more. However, I intend to make it a priority this semester to explore Berkeley and have fun and do well and be full of goodness and take care of myself and the people around me. ◊

New Year, New Theme

As the end of yet another year rolls around, it's time for some evaluations and forecasts.

Looking Back

Obviously the biggest things that happened this year were graduating high school and going to college. In the interim summer, I worked with my wonderful speech and debate coach to teach two elementary speech workshops, and in college I joined a mentorship program to continue working with elementary school students. I definitely want to continue my path working in education, so I declared the Education Minor at Berkeley. I wrote about every memorable event (and some of the things in between) on this blog, so there's no need to go over everything again (I'm so glad I decided to continue blogging). I would say that the big theme this year was change and transitions. Turning 18 meant becoming an adult, and with that came college and freedom. I've been so incredibly happy this year, but I've still been struggling with mental health problems. I can't possibly go over all the things that are now different, so I truly mean it when I say everything has changed and I've had to change too to keep up.

Looking Forward

I am so very excited for second semester. After all the lessons I learned about time management and whatnot first semester, I am ready for another round. As for goals next year, I think it's more effective for me to think about what not to focus on rather than a single goal.

Last year my goal was "Mindful Body Wellness." Apparently, it was a pretty complicated concept, but it boiled down to three actions: skin care, eating right, and exercise. Skin care I definitely succeeded in, with the Lush lotions and Clarisonic cleansers and whatnot. My skin still isn't perfect, but it is improving. Eating right started out ok, but then I went to college and had a meal plan in the dining halls. Still, I tried my best to go grocery shopping for celery and smoothie ingredients, so I'd say this is still a success. As for exercise, I tried, I really did, but after two Zumba classes and a series of yoga classes, not much happened. However, being on the Berkeley campus should really qualify as exercise, with the hills and walking. I don't know what to make of that goal. I guess it was a partial success, but there's still plenty of room to improve.

"Mindful Body Wellness" actually isn't too bad of a goal, so I will definitely continue to strive for it as best as possible, but additionally, I want to revisit a concept that has been very important to me: identity. 2016 will be the year to work on something I will call "Core Self." Less worry about what other people think of me and what they want me to be, and more focus on what I think of who I am and what I want to be. Cut out the extras, build a stronger sense of my own person. Become comfortable with who I am. Everything is clean, fresh, and pure. Let life come to me instead of me chasing after life.

A part of starting fresh is a haircut!

Also, as much as I love this pretty purple theme, it does look a little high-school-y. It's way past time for me to update it into something clean, minimalistic, and mature. To live is to change is to improve. What better time to do that than the transition into the new year? Sadly, as soon as I've caught onto one web design trend, everyone else has already moved on to the next big thing (for now that would be paneled posts; I'm not a huge fan, I'd rather just see everything on one page without pop-ups). I can't decide if I want to change the blog title into something a little more simple as well, but I think I'll be keeping the URL the same. Hopefully nothing gets too messed up when I tinker with the code, because I've already forgotten to save a backup of this old one. Some of the old posts are still wonky because of the image resizing, but oh well. Happy New Year! ◊

The End of a Semester

By the numbers:
I arrived 116 days ago;
I lived with 2 roommates;
I watched 4 seasons of Doctor Who;
I read 14 textbooks;
I wrote 7 essays;
I was sick for 4 weeks;
I saw 43 small dogs;
I went to 1 wonton party;
I observed 1 protest/rally;
I pulled 1 all nighter;
I took 1 final exam;
I went to 1 football game.

By the things I did:
I learned how to take public transport;
I became acquainted with an Italian activist abstract concept;
I hung out in my friends' rooms, just like I used to;
I had too many cups of coffee;
I mused about a blue-mohawked Alaskan GSI;
I ate too many Clif bars and drank too much juice;
I spent Thanksgiving with a group of strangers;
I lost my head over a boy who was allergic to cats;
I made so many smoothies;
I hiked up to the Big C;
I mentored the most wonderful small children.

By the feelings:
I felt unrestrained happiness;
I felt free;
I felt exhaustion;
I felt the cold, empty fog;
I felt in control;
I felt content;
I felt panic;
I felt everything;
I felt nothing.

By the things I didn't:
I didn't go to San Francisco;
I didn't run out of meal points;
I didn't attend a frat party;
I didn't recopy all my notes;
I didn't apply for scholarships or internships;
I didn't drink or do drugs or party too hard;
I didn't eat at Clark Kerr for Sunday brunch;
I didn't get straight A's;
I didn't visit the top of the Campanile;
I didn't fall in love.

By the ways I've changed:
I have a better fashion sense;
I can write a four page paper in two hours;
I know how to take care of myself better;
I let my social anxiety get worse;
I completely lost track of my eating habits;
I figured out why I have problems;
I deleted people I didn't really know off of Facebook;
I learned that it's ok to not let people know everything.

This is the last night I'll sleep in this bed this year. Lately, I haven't been able to fall asleep. I remember the first night, right after I moved in. I had never fallen asleep so quickly. It felt safe, a fresh start, a world of endless possibilities. I was scared, but I was excited and ready to take on all the things being thrown at me. And I did pretty well.

But now, as I anticipate heading back to suburbia, I am only scared. It's all going by way too fast, and I'm afraid that if I just blink a few more times, I'll look back and college is all gone, and I still won't have done so many of the things I wanted to do. They say to live life to the fullest, but there's only so much a human body can do in the time it's given to exist in this world. And I tried, I really did, but sometimes, some things just didn't work out. I can only wish for more, but despite that, I'm proud of what I have accomplished. Here's to even more next year. ◊

Clarisonic Mia 2 Deep Pore Detox Set Unboxing

R.I.P. Neutrogena Wave

It's the midst of finals seasons which means a lot of stress and breakouts, which I have been struggling with forever. I've tried a whole slew of face washes and exfoliants and coconut oil and face masks but nothing seems to work on my poor clogged pores. Especially as my old $5 Gen1 Neutrogena Wave has finally sputtered to a stop and I've been too lazy to replace the battery, skin care has been tough. I don't know what made me do it (maybe it was the stress shopping urges) but I finally decided to invest in a significantly pricier device on Cyber Monday. I present to you: the Deep Pore Detoxifying Clarisonic Mia 2 Holiday Gift Set.

As it was Cyber Monday, all online orders were an additional 20% off, which brought the price of the set down to about $95 before tax and $105 after tax. Initially, I was suspicious because the basic Clarisonic Mia 2 costs $149 on its own, and this whole set with a cleanser and face mask were priced at $119. The box itself said the value of the set was $203, and it was priced at $169 on the sticker. There was a chance that the set wouldn't have the actual device in it, and would only consist of the accessories, but it was a risk I was willing to take as the sale was ending soon and the return policy seemed pretty straightforward. To my satisfaction, the kit included the device with a brush head as well.

I haven't gotten a chance to use it yet as it is recommended to charge the device approximately 24 hours before use, but comments on the first impressions of the product. Everything was impeccably packed, though the box was a bit confusing to figure out. The device feels well balanced to hold, and the magnetic charger attaches easily, though not particularly strongly. The cleanser and the face mask actually smell wonderfully light and clean, opposite to the heavy chemical smell I had anticipated for whatever reason. The device also comes with a travel case, though I don't know how frequently that will be of use for me.

Overall, I'm fairly satisfied with this stress shopping/Cyber Monday purchase, and I look forward to using the device! I'm hoping its the miracle product I've been looking for to take care of my pores. Here's to happy skin! ◊

What's on my iPhone?

This is a post inspired by an anon question on Tumblr (hey you, anon, if you see this I want you to know you're the best!) I've been in a bit of a creative rut lately as the end of the year brings not only season's greetings and joy, but also tons and tons of essays. And of course, when my brain is confronted with a large problem, its first response is not the best method to finish the task, no, it's avoidance, which makes it all the harder to work. But I'm glad for a thing to do as productive procrastination rather than feeling crappy because I'm sitting around wasting time. I'm not sure if this is exactly what you're looking for, but here are the apps on my phone. Feel free to ask questions to clarify!

So here is my homescreen, and only screen, on my iPhone. I like to be utilitarian, though not purely by choice, as my phone only has 16GB and I want to save as much space as I could for pics. I like to lay out everything in a way that is logical for me, including the staples on top down to extras on the bottom. Therefore you have the calendar, clock, app and iTunes stores on the top row, followed by camera, which is to photos, as FaceTime is to videos. For some reason, this makes sense to me. The next row is tools, such as map, compass, weather, and calculator. Next is note based: email, Safari, notes, and reminders. These generally help me keep track of what is going on in my life. Finally, non-default apps, such as music, Spotify, Evernote, and Wunderlist. You may also have noticed that there is a bit of vertical correlation, as Evernote is to notes as Wunderlist is to reminders. I also kept the apps with a circle in the icon all in the second column. Am I a little obsessive? Probably.

Aside from default phone functions, such as call, messages, contacts, and settings, my last row is grouped apps. Each bubble has exactly 6 acts, grouped together by content and/or color. The first one, Apps, is default apps that I sometimes use. The color scheme loosely falls along the "red" pattern. The next, Extras, are the apps I very rarely touch, but can't get rid of from my phone. I thought the yellow ones looked nice put together.

The third, which has three green apps, contains resources I use frequently, from the banking app to check my balance, to the student portal that is used for assignments, the ASUC app which gives information about facilities on campus, and the bus schedule. The last app in the bottom right corner is called Emergency Chat. I use it when I get panic attacks to communicate with people when I find it hard to breathe or talk. The last bubble called "Entertainment" isn't really all for entertainment. This is where you'll find a lot of my communication apps, from Snapchat, to Venmo (a handy app that lets you pay people and be paid back), to Messenger.

I don't have a ton of social media because I find it distracting, and really I used Instagram with just one or two people, so that's about it. The last app, Inkboard, is a doodle app that lets you draw things either from scratch or on top of existing photos. I haven't put much use into, but it can be entertaining when I need it to be (or if you need scratch paper in the middle of the night to calculate how many points each question on a quiz was worth).

With such few apps, the plus side is great battery life and less distraction, but hopefully my next upgrade will let my phone play a much more central part in how I am organized. As of now, I am still tethered to my computer, though my Apple Watch also plays a large part in how I send and receive notifications. And that's about it for all the things on my phone! Not a lot, I'm afraid, but maybe it inspired you on various methods of organization at least. ◊

#obsessed: One Last Time – Ariana Grande

I'm usually not a huge fan of Ariana Grande's voice, but this song has been great. The "one last time" hook has been stuck in my head for days, and since I haven't posted here for a bit, I thought I might just share a quick #obsessed post. ◊

November Already?

Well, it's been a while since I've blogged.

I've been busy. I survived my first midterm season here at Berkeley (it wasn't too bad, an essay for sociology and a short answer test for political science –– got A's on both of them), the essays and readings are never ending, and I've started to spend more time with people I think I can start to call "real friends." It's surprising how easy it is to be lonely on a campus of so many people, but once you discover the people you share values with and they are equally interesting in being friends with your own strange little self, lovely things can happen. Yesterday was Veterans' Day, which we had off from classes, so a few friends and I got together, bought some cookies, piled up the blankets (it's been unusually cold around here), and did nothing but watch Disney movies. If you ever get the chance to revisit Pocahontas, I highly recommend it. The artistry is beautiful, if the plot and dialogue are a bit frustrating sometimes.

Aside from not wanting to neglect this blog, another very important reason for returning as I am is to vent a little. Actually, things have been going pretty well in all aspects of life, especially achieving that balance between social and academic. Extracurriculars are starting to make more sense too as all the procedures become routine. I even went hiking up to the Big C with my RHA ExComm last Saturday. I just wish I could be doing more. I went to a protest for the first time today, and I was so overwhelmed by the sheer number of people that I ended up observing the rally rather than participating in it. Though it is now crossed off my bucket list, I wish I had the time and energy to be more involved. There are so many things to be done, and while I know it's not possible to do everything, I want to put it near the top of my list  next semester to go to more events and be a part of the larger causes on campus.

At the moment, the thing that's holding me back is a turbid mix of academic perfectionism and mental health problems. I had another panic attack out of the blue on October 28th, and it's held me back as life keeps moving forward. I missed a week's worth of lectures in some classes, and I'm hopelessly behind on readings again. I want to make up every little detail knowing fully well that I can't. And you may not be able to tell from reading this, but I've been stuck with writer's block for my Classics essay. As I am able to type this out now, I know for sure that I can attribute my inability to work on it to the fact that I just don't think I can write it right (and therefore my brain believes it is best to not work on it at all), but that doesn't mean it's not due. Back to the grindstone... ◊